Kill The Boy

The boy is weak. The boy is lazy. The boy comes up with any excuse to not do the work to be a man.

The longer you let boy live, the bigger he gets, but he stays a boy. He gets smarter, but he is not wiser. He gets more convincing, but he is not right.

The boy does not grow up to be you.

You grow up to be the boy.

You must kill the boy.

I have allowed the boy to call the shots the majority of my life. The boy keeps us safe - that’s good right? We have the basics. In some places, more than the basics. By some accounts, the boy has done a good job. We have what we need, and a little more.

However, I know in my bones that the boy has reached his limit. He cannot provide more for me. This is what I get. This health. This body. This income. These relationships, with my friends, my wife, and my kids.

I am thankful for what I have but I am not proud of the boy I have become.

For too long I have accepted the worst version of myself as truth. In all cases, I just tell myself it could be worse, or that it’s “normal.” My greatest fear is dying having lived a normal life.

I am not normal. I am not ordinary. Not at my core.

The small, losing choices we make each day, the choices in which the boy decides our next move, have added up to be the sum of who we are.

(Connor McGregor did a great interview on this)

The winning choices are those of discomfort, of hard work, and of suffering. There is no room for the opposite. You can’t hit the gym and then eat a cake. You can’t make the bed and leave the rest of the room a mess. You can’t work hard Monday and take Tuesday off. They cancel each other out and you stay the same. You must completely change the trajectory.

Become unrecognizable to others and to the old version of you.

The best, most true version of ourselves is on the other side of those decisions to win.

It will suck. We will not enjoy it. We will live out our fears. We will not have the answers and we won’t get them. We will want to quit. We will not.

Kill the boy to let the man be born.